Monday, June 29, 2009

Male Patterned Color Blindness


This post by SD has inspired me to take on an age old complaint.
Why can't men perceive the subtleties of color? Now I'm not talking about some members of my husband's family who couldn't distinguish between an orange and a blueberry if not for their size... that's genetic.
I'm talking about guys with perfectly normal chromosomes who cannot distinguish between hot pink, baby pink and bubblegum pink.
Grass green, hunter green, celery green?
Come on fellas! Burgundy is a color! And it's not the same as cordovan.
We've actually made it easier for you by using food and flowers as a guide. You eat food, right? So you know what color an eggplant is. And it is not the same color as lavender.
You don't seem to confuse a pumpkin and a peach when you're rummaging in the refrigerator late at night, do you?
I've been wracking my brain thinking of male targeted subjects to use as color indicators, but I've found that there isn't much color in the male world. Baseballs come in only one color. Gemoros are bound in only a couple of colors. And fancy cars are available in more than one color per model, usually with very unimaginitve names....

16 comments:

tnspr569 said...

As you know, our suits come in a plethora of colors!

Seriously, our ties are the most colorful items of clothing we own!

harry-er than them all said...

and yeshivish girls know what color is?!

all the weddings i've been at recently feel like a funeral!

Anonymous said...

"male" subjects/objects with color:
ties, ipods, socks, baseball caps, ...

Yehuda said...

Gosh, I feel attacked.

G6 said...

I thought about mentioning ties, but in my experience (my immediate family MOST DEFINITELY excluded) most men will have to flip their tie up to see it if you approach them and ask them what color tie they are wearing, because "the first thing that came out when I stuck my hand in" is not technically a color.

tembow said...

from my experience (from my brothers and father) guys are into their ties and will pick a tie based on the color and how it matches the suit or socks, or whatever. but i dont think majority of guys will just stick their hands in the pile and pick one...

efrex said...

Now, this isn't fair...

First off, using food is extremely misleading: most guys would consider "eggplant color" to be brown, red, and white, since the only time they'd care about eggplant is after it's been cooked and smothered in sauce and cheese. Now, if you referred to colors by food names that we cared about ("pizza red," "onion ring gold," "Mountain Dew green") we'd know exactly what you're talking about.

Alternatively, if you're dealing with old-school HTML nerds (are there any more of us out there left), you could try referring to the RGB or CMYK color codes ("Should I wear the #CCCCCC gray or the #333333 gray?")

Personally, I'm with this guy.

Back when The Lovely Wife(tm) was The Lovely if Somewhat Neurotic Fiancee, we had a discussion as to what I wanted the wedding dress to look like, since I naturally wouldn't see her in it until The Big Day. While my big-mister-smooth line ("you're the only thing I want to see in the dress") went over well, I was apparently supposed to offer some thoughts on scalloping, sleeve style, train length, bows, crinoline, and who-knows-what-else that was completely meaningless to me. In frustration, I finally blurt out, "look! It should have you in it, and it should be white. Anything else is completely not important to me."

Flash forward a month or two, and I get a call at work: "Honey? How stuck are you on the dress being white?"

Now, I should mention that The Lovely Wife(tm)'s favorite color in the world is purple. Were it up to her, everything in the world would match a Welch's can. With nightmarish visions of seeing a resplendent Concord grape walking towards me down the aisle, I very calmly shrieked "What did you do, dear?"

"Well, if the dress was ivory or eggshell, would you be terribly offended?" (*insert sound of my hyperventilating lungs emptying in huge sigh*).

"Dear (yes, we really did talk this way back then), when I look at the dress, what color will *I* call it?"

"White."

"Thank you."

G6 said...

LOL, efrex!!!
Great story....

Not to mention a great cartoon.
It was exactly what I was looking for (and obviously couldn't find) to lead off this post.

You must email me off-blog and tell me how you found it.....

Something Different said...

Heehee. Thanks for the link. As far as color...well, I have to say I haven't had much experience with it, except with food. Notice how men are suddenly very UN-colorblind when there is (gasp) GREEN food around?
;-)

tnspr569 said...

Harry - have you been to an out-of-town wedding lately? Even the yeshivish crowds wear more colorful clothing at such simchas.

tnspr569 said...

G6 - lol. I forgot about that...not the case for me, though.

Jewish Side of Babysitter said...

G6: it's because men usually don't appreciate pretty things like women do. Men's use of color is for the function of it, like to camouflage military uniforms. While women's use of color is to enjoy the pretty different colors, that's why women would be able to tell the difference between different shades, while to men they are all the same.

Harry-er: actually I was watching an old movie recently, and they said that New York's color is black, that everyone wears black. So it's not just a yeshivish thing.

Staying Afloat said...

My husband is very particular about his ties. He'll notice nothing about women's clothing except if something fits me well, but will notice everything about ties- colors, patterns, weaves. He doesn't always know the terms, though, which makes in kind of funny sometimes: "I like this green one with this shirt, but not that one." Well yes, because kelly green and hunter green are different.

Anonymous said...

What's with all the men bashing?

Leora said...

I'm wondering about the poster. It's lovely.

Um, most of the famous artists in history were men. So what does this do to your theory? (don't answer this, I'm much more interested in the poster).

G6 said...

Leora -
This poster is by the British artist David Short and is entitled "Colors of Summer".