This week marks the beginning of "Shovavim", the six week period spanning the Shabbosos in which we lein Parshas Shemos through Parshas Mishpatim. It has become customary (also only in recent memory.... if someone cares to fill me in on the source..... but I digress....) to spend extra time during these weeks working on marital issues. Seminars and lectures abound.
I thought I'd share with my readers a little joke that I received via email a few weeks ago, that I find rather appropriate for this juncture.
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Chaim and his wife Shira listened to the instructor declare,"It's essential that husbands and wives are aware of the things that are important to each other."He addressed the men, "Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"Chaim leaned over to his wife and asked in a whisper, "Kemach All-Purpose, isn't it?"The rest of the story is not pleasant...
Hat tip: Older "cuz"
14 comments:
LOL!!!
Never heard of this in Bnai Ashkenaz Land
Thanks for sharing this,
Etty
Never heard of this custom and don't care for it. In a traditional community, I don't think there should be public lectures on these type of issues. Then again, much of the Orthodox Jewish world does not live in traditional communities (i.e. close-knit, where several generations live, where customs are passed down etc.) anymore -- which is a problem in and of itself.
Love the story!
(My recollection is that fasting on the Mondays and Thursdays of Shovavim (and Tat in a leap year like ours) is a kabalisticly inspired practice from Eastern Europe, possibly as penance for... what they call "ma'ase onan." I suppose the rediscovering Shovavim for "shalom bayis" isn't so much of a stretch.)
The source is the be'er hativ on oroch chaim siman tav reish pey hay (685) sif katon beis
Yehuda-
Can you elaborate on why you don't think these are appropriate, and I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "traditional communities."
what's the matter with some of you? you make yekkes sound ridiculous. who can possibly be against shiurim that develop better relationship skills from a Torah perspective?
where exactly were you people born and raised?
I actually heard a shi'ur on this in KAJ a couple of years ago...
Apparently, the Shelah hakodosh writes that this period is of particular significance during a leap year, when we are reminded of the inequality of the sun and the moon, due to our sins (Chullin 60a). In the times of mashi'ach, Hashem will equalize the sun and moon (presumably in some metaphysical sense) and we will no longer need leap years.
In the meantime, we must take this reminder to do teshuva- and that's why people had the custom to fast Behab duting Shovavim; I heard from Rav Sinai Adler that this is also to ensure that there aren't too many months that we go without fasting!
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The every-year emphasis on taharas hamishpacha and sholom bayis is moist likely a chassidish import. And besides, I have no idea which flower my wife likes best, but I know for sure that she uses whole-wheat flower, considering that I usually end up buying it!
*flour
typo strikes again
Gavi -
I actually enjoyed "moist" likely even better :P
Guess my spell-check was off when I wrote... or was set to chassidish pronunciation.
Shovavim? Yea or Nay. The Nays have it.
I think this custom is followed in very many communities. I don't live in a yekkish community and they have shiurim here every year during Shovavim.
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