Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Multiple Rants in One...

An unnamed Bais Yaakov High School has a percentage of out-of-town students who commute 45 minutes each day to and from school. 
Said school decides to hold a Chanukah Chagiga for the girls at night, at a time where local girls would have time to return home, hear lighting with their family and return to the school in time for the Chagiga. Out of town girls might need to miss lighting at home in order to attend the Chagiga. 
No transportation assistance is provided for the out-of-town girls (regular school bussing will not be available when the Chagiga is set to be over). 
Out-of-town girls question whether they want, or are able, to indeed return to school for this event. Teacher and school administrator insist that girls PAY for the Chagiga, even if they do not attend. 
When girls complain that the entire situation is not fair, coupled with the fact that they were given  only two day's notice of the festivities, they are told by school administrator "So move to ______ (the town the school is in) or build your own Bais Yaakov in your home town".

Question for my readers: WHICH PART OF THIS STORY IS THE MOST HEINOUS?

10 comments:

BLD said...

Its nobody's business

Doobie said...

I think the worst of it is the timing issue. Unless it is a very small percentage of girls who are coming from out of town they need to take that into account. I am also really bothered by the 2 days notice. The whole situation is simply not good middos!!

itsagift said...

That's very sad.
The school probably didn't have an easy time scheduling it-which is why they only gave two days notice-but there should have been some understanding on the administrator's part. I'm not sure why girls should have to pay if they are not participating-especially if their lack of participation is not coming from a lack of interest, it's just too inconvenient for them to stay. (AND, when things are not handled properly, girls will become frustrated, more resentful and lose interest altogether.)

Can I ask...what percentage of girls in this school are commuting? If it's just a couple of girls, the school should not force them to come OR to pay. If it's a lot more, they should have worked with them so that more girls can come and add to the spirit and fun of the party.

On a side note, if the girls were truly interested in their school and the extra-curricular activities, this whole thing might not have bothered them as much. When you WANT to be somewhere, you do what it takes to go. If they were that excited about their school's Chanukah party, they could have arranged sleepovers at friends houses and made it an extended, fun, all-nighter!

Yisrael said...

It's Eastern European bluntness exacerbated by New York rudeness. To the German ear, it's crass.

daughtersintheparsha said...

sorry to say, but that's why I chose the other option in said hometown :)

daughtersintheparsha said...

yisroel:
I really hope to any mentch it's crass. I am very proud of my Yekkish heritage but I don't think we have the exclusive on manners and good taste.
I would hope any principal, regardless of grandparents' birthplace, would be diplomatic, thoughtful, and considerate with all their students.

SG: I'm not a big believer in telling other mothers "You should say this..." but as I am not a parent in the school... you really should say something - to the administrator and rabbinical board. The school has taken girls from out of their community as students. They should be treated as students, not intruders

Yisrael said...

daughtersintheparsha, agreed. I would hope to any ear it's crass.

Anonymous said...

Are there no nice families in monsey willing to take your daughter in for the night and feed her and let her light? I have lots of memories being in the very same predicament and a nice family took me in and fed me! Often we had to pay our driver to come get us or be stuck in " a neighborhood that shall not be named" while i attended a bais yakkov that shall not be named. I understand your complaints and can commiserate as i went through this for every event, play practice or night activity.Please let this high schooler know she is always welcome by me if necessary and that is the life of a commuter.

Annie Cohnen said...

The administrator was very inconsiderate and inappropriate! Our school has a once a year activities fee to cover this stuff but still asks girls to cook stuff for events...I still remember my son having mandatory in-shabbossim where he had to find a nice family not only to sleep by but to feed him as the school did not provide all the shabbos seudahs. That used to irk me a lot. Good thing you used to host my son :)

Sarah Rivka bat Yocheved said...

In my opinion, while the school has the right to schedule things as they see fit they should be more understanding of any inconvenience caused for girls who live farther away. They should excuse nonattendance and certainly not make them pay for it!