Sometimes I Kick Myself...

I used to be the kind of person who was obsessive about reading manuals before installing new appliances/electronics. Neurotically so. I even read the electrical warnings.
Well, as old age mellowed me or hubris set in, I have become markedly more lax in this regard. I'm still not sure how to properly use all the features of my new washer and air conditioner (yes, it was an expensive summer).
Today I was installing some new phones. Now I've installed many new phones in my day. How different could this little puny (read cheap) phone be? Well, I hooked it up and though it worked for calls and call waiting (oh one day I must write a diatribe post about my feelings regarding THAT lovely feature....), the caller ID didn't function. Did I do the SENSIBLE thing and consult the manual? NO! Not I! I can figure this out all by myself. So I wasted 10 minutes fiddling with the various settings, then another 15 minutes on the phone with tech support, arguing with her that my phone line did indeed have enough voltage to supply caller ID to all my phones and not just all but this new one, and telling her that I had no intention of unplugging all my other devices that were working perfectly well, just to try to get this one errant phone to behave. Only while listening to this overly polite yet completely ridiculous tech person, did I, in my boredom begin flipping through the manual. It is then that I realized, this little phone needs BATTERIES for the caller ID function to work. Now, my first instinct was to be annoyed that the tech person wasn't smart enough to tell me that from the get go, but then I remembered that I wasn't smart enough to look at the manual. Kind of humbling actually {sheepish grin}.

Gmar Chasima Tova

May all of us have our decrees sealed for a Healthy, Happy and Prosperous new year that allows us to use all our bountiful blessings for good things.



On a lighter note: I thought I'd share my two favorite yom kippur quotes with you, both from the same year. It was the year I gave birth to Joey. Firstly, my ob/gyn comes in and thanks me for getting him out of his Rabbi's boring sermon (no he isn't Orthodox...) and following the birth he chuckled at me and bantered that NOW I had to fast. I informed him that in fact, I did not, having just given birth. He asked tongue in cheek, "Oh, does that dispensation carry over to the delivering physician as well?".

But a naive young intern's comments to me that day were even more amusing. As I was walking the halls to get things 'moving' a bit more quickly, we passed a worried looking intern who stopped me and said, "Pardon me, but isn't today your Holy Day?". When I responded in the affirmative, he continued, "But how can you give birth on your Holy Day???!?!?", to which I laughingly responded, "You're the doctor! Do you know how to stop it?" :)

I will say, it made for the most unusual kavannah during a neilah prayer I've ever experienced... One is usually solemn and pleading. All I could think of was - thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Here's wishing us all a year of only thank you thank you thank yous.................

Sometimes it takes a newcomer....

Everybody is welcome at our table. You don't have to daven in our shul - you don't have to agree with our hashkafah - (though a bit of guest etiquette is always appreciated). But unless you out and out disrespect us or otherwise set a supremely bad example for our children, you are always welcome in our home.

As a hostess though, I am often feeling my "inner Julie" (OK, if you are under "ahem" years of age you won't get the Julie McCoy, cruise director extraordinaire, reference... just wiki or google "Love Boat" and suffice it to say she was responsible for everybody's good time) and when the conversations get a bit controversial, I'm not very good at defending my position to some of our guests as strongly as I would like to.

You see, the shul we are proud members of strives to keep its traditions and minhagim alive by adhering to customs, practices and nusach that have survived many generations. It does set us apart from many of the other shuls around, that sort of "evolve" with the preferences of their members and don't adhere to any one set of minhagim. This Yom Tov, on second night, we had two lovely young guests at our table. One is a new member of our proud congregation and the other is a staunch supporter of one of the other neighborhood shuls. This second woman was saying how our shul was so closed minded because we try to adhere to these minhagim of old and she did not at all accept the concepts of newcomers to the shul following "minhag hamokom" or the concept that is brought down of "Al tifrosh min hatzibbur" (don't set yourself apart from the group). She kept insisting that heterogeneous was the way to be accepting, and that kindly and gently offering a newcomer the opportunity to "fit in" to our homogenous group (for instance by offering a tallis which is the minhag of all men in shul single or married...) is a manifestation of our "intolerance of differences" as she sees it. (Now in truth, you must know, that our shul's welcoming committee only offers visitors the opportunity to fit in... nothing is forced down anybody's throat, though a certain dress code is required for an aliyah, there is none for davening alone)


Well, our new member proudly said, "It doesn't sound like YOU are being very accepting! You want everybody to be like YOU (i.e. heterogeneous) and YOU are the one who is being closed-minded by not allowing us to be homogeneous in our own shul!". I thought about that and it was a "hmmmmm" moment for me. She was right! Why did it bother this other woman that we were not "heterogeneous just like her"? Doesn't that exhibit a form of homogeneity (in their heterogeneity) and isn't that EXACTLY what she was accusing us of?

Breaking News - Joey Update

The nice gentleman on Millionaire offered Joey a spot on..... drumroll.... you guessed it..... Shemini Atzeres......
Poor guy can't catch a break.
The nice gentleman said he would scrounge around for a "kosher" taping date, but it doesn't look hopeful people.......

Joey's Kiddush Hashem - the sequel

OK, you're not gonna believe this....
After yom tov was over, Joey turns on his cellphone to find a voicemail from the Millionaire people. We might have another taping spot for you... call us back by 5pm tomorrow or forfeit your chance. Voicemail left when folks? You guessed it .... FIRST day yom tov.... sheesh.... poor guy....... he can't seem to catch a break.
He's gonna plead his case tomorrow morning but we're not hopeful.

Kesiva VeChasima Tova

Wishing everyone a year of health, happiness, strength and peace.

Sometimes the Unfinished Shows More Than the Finished...

My husband didn't want me taking this picture. He said the Yom Tov table was not "finished". He was right. The challah board is not yet on the table. There will be more lovely flowers coming. But I took this photo, because it shows something about my husband's yom tov prep that not many people know.

My husband is very involved in his beloved shul. He does some things very quietly and without fanfare, and one of the things that he does is take home the silver from the shul from time to time and painstakingly polish it so that it sparkles and shines. The crowns visible in the background are but a FRACTION of the silver that my dearest lovingly shined to enhance the services in our beis hakneses this yom tov.

I am proud of him and I just wanted to share. (I didn't think a photo of the pile of hand towels for the Kohanim waiting to be ironed in the other room looked quite as good, but he does that too.... crumpled towels just won't suffice in his opinion....)

The Power of Scents

Joey brought up the interesting topic last night of favorite scents - quite subjective obviously. His number 1 scent (don't ask me, I just birthed him....) is dryer sheets (go figure....). His number 2 scent is hamburgers (typical, lol....).
He asked me for my favorites.
How do I choose? It's not a matter of favorite or not favorite... for me it's more a matter of the memory. There are smells that I don't care for at all but that trigger wonderful memories.... Case in point: cigar smoke reminds me of my father.
The human sense of smell is extremely powerful. Some of the most intense memories can be triggered by a mere whiff. (Don't ask about the time Avram sidled up to some lady in an elevator with a big grin on his face and said to her, "Pardon me, but you smell like my dead Aunt"). Sometimes a smell can induce a feeling that we cannot explain, but that must be linked to some long forgotten happening.

I love the smell of freesias. Roses are a pretty close second, but I don't care for lilies, though lilies, along with the smell of baby powder, remind me of my father in law.

I have a bit of a thing for some mens' colognes (good job guys in research and development!)

The smell after a rainstorm reminds me of summers in my childhood when I'd go out hunting earthworms.

Now why we need the smell of Ginko berries is beyond me.....

I'd be interested in hearing other people's scent triggers and perhaps sharing a forgotten memory ;)

Support Strong Jewish Women Everywhere

I don't know Leah Larson personally. I have no financial stake in her endeavors. The only thing I know about Leah is that she is a strong young Jewish girl woman.

At the age of 13, Leah decided to begin a magazine for Jewish girls, by Jewish girls and the end result - Yaldah Magazine, is nothing short of amazing. My daughter is absolutely enthralled and the only negative thing I have to say about this magazine is that it doesn't come out often enough.

Now Leah is a finalist in Wells Fargo's $100,000 "Someday Stories" contest. She has already received $10,000, and is now ONE OF FIVE finalists (chosen from over 10,000 entries!!) for the $100,000 for Yaldah magazine.

Won't you please take a moment and vote for Evelyn from MA (Leah's mother - Leah wasn't old enough to enter on her own) to win the Wells Fargo Someday Stories contest, and make a vote for strong Jewish women everywhere? You'll also help Leah achieve her dream of taking Yaldah Magazine to the next level. What started out as a "lemonade stand" idea has turned into a real thriving publication!

Go Leah!!

Hat tip: Juggling Frogs

I Hate Boro Park....

Have I mentioned that I hate Boro Park? I know some of you are throwing tomatoes at me right now but I don't care. And perhaps I am being a bit harsh (not really). Maybe I don't like Boro Park because every time I go there it is for a marathon shopping trip which leaves me with aching toes, an empty wallet and all the life sucked out of me.
I went today to buy tablecloths, paper & plastic goods, candy and assorted junk food for the Kehilla's Simchas Torah party (think 250 people sitting around and listening to speeches - if you don't feed them they realize it's not a party and mutiny is imminent). I also started looking for candy to give the little kids who go around collecting. Erica has been raving lately about apple chips but Jen tells me that only grownups like apple chips... ("They're healthy, Mommy!!!! {insert eye roll here}"). So much for that. I've been told Twerpz are a hot item. I tried them - who wants to eat sweetened plastic?!!?!? The Klik "In" bars with nougat looked good so I got a whole mess of those. I had to go to not one but TWO Oh Nuts stores just to find the raspberry and blackberry jellies and struck out on chocolate covered raisins in BOTH locations. This little foray took NINE hours door to door.
Now all that's left is ordering the cookies and dissecting 30-40 melons (anybody free on Hoshana Rabba? Come on over to the G6 melon balling party... I hear it's the place to be!)

OK, so I saw my first live dead lamb's head (eyes, tongue, teeth and all) in the butcher shop which was kinda cool......... (I hear the cheek is the best part).

Pre Rosh Hashana Cooking Bonanza

Yesterday was a productive day.
I made about 40 stuffed cabbage rolls, my second 5 lb. batch of challah (this time sans the raisins...), a honey orange spice cake and two chocolate cake layers that may or may not be used for a certain someone's birthday ;) The freezer door now gets closed like we used to sit on those hard sided suitcases in the old days before going on an extended vacation.
I missed the beautiful weather. Why is it that the best weather days - when summer turns to autumn and when winter turns to spring - always seem to be on pre yom tov Sundays when I am home cooking and cleaning - before Rosh Hashana and before Pesach? A bit of a pity I say.....

G-d Loves the Internet (or High Tech Hashgacha Pratis)

So I'm at work this week and my internet's been buggy all morning when finally my modem has a nervous breakdown. Now, if you know me, you know I'm not far behind.
I spent an hour and a half on the phone with Road Runner only to find out that it'll be SIX DAYS before they can come out and fix my hookup. SIX DAYS?!?!? What am I gonna do for six whole days at work without internet? Work????

Somebody suggested I call YSB, the best tech guy ever. Not so simple, I replied.

1. He costs money that our office cannot afford.
2. He is doing me a favor currently at my house and I don't want to blow that.

So I guess we'll just have to muddle through for the next six days, right? Wrong. Ten minutes later, who do you suppose walks through my office door? YSB! I haven't seen him in my office in at least 10 months!!! What is he doing here? Oh, the landlord of our premises who he is currently doing a job for wants to "borrow" our internet hookup for a live video broadcast on Sunday night? You're joking! My modem just blew! What? You can take it yourself to Time Warner and swap it out and install the new one? That would be lovely, thank you. And of course they can borrow our hookup!

I guess Hashem doesn't look so harshly on my internet addiction after all :)

Joey's Kiddush Hashem

Joey's in a bit of a funk. I'm actually a little bit jealous of him, because he got to do something this week that few of us ever get a chance to do, and I'm sure Hashem will reward him mightily.
Those of you who know Joey, know that one of his lifelong dreams is to be on Jeopardy or Millionaire (and of course to win big). Now, this is no pipe dream. Joey is serious about this stuff and he's GOOD.
Well, Friday afternoon Joey got the long awaited call. Millionaire wanted him!!! Unfortunately, they want him for Succos :( They have no other days available at the moment. Joey was able to tell them that he is terribly sorry but he is an Orthodox Jew and no matter how badly he wants to do this, he is unable to attend the taping.
So if you see Joey this week, give him a high five and be nice to him. He just lost (according to his calculation) at least $50,000 and a chance to live his dream. I'm sure the Heavenly Court is hugging him tight right now.

I'm over the hill and I left my joie de vivre in the valley below

This past Motzoei Shabbos we finally unwrapped Eric's Yahtzee had a sort of informal "game night". As we were sitting down to play/relearn our new Yahtzee game, Joey was walking by the table and exclaimed, "Ooooh Yahtzee! Can I play?" Now mind you, Joey is not known for being the biggest "joiner", so naturally I asked him why he was so excited. He told me that he's always wanted to roll a Yahtzee and scream "Yyyyyaaaaaahtzee!!!" {with the proper emphasis of course}, like the kids on the TV commercial used to.
Ooooookaaaaay.........
When did I get so old, that the thought of shouting with gusto for a good roll of the dice filled me with embarrassment and dread rather than joy? Do we lose that joie de vivre as we age? How do we get it back? Seriously, I used to be that kid once upon a time. Where did she go? It was such a joy for me to watch Joey be rewarded with two Yahtzees in one game so that he could gleefully give the exclamations his "all" and make us all smile along with him. Could I let loose and do the same? Thankfully, the One Above was good to me.... I never rolled a Yahtzee so I never had to find out :)

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around

We all need heroes in our lives.
I'm not talking Superman or Batman. I'm talking regular everyday heroes. People in our lives who will stand up for us and with us.
We also need to endeavor to be somebody else's hero.
I have several heroes in my life who humble me and save me whenever I start to falter. I hope I repay the favor.