Monday, November 8, 2010

A Tale Of Two Weddings....

The following story is what you might call Historical Fiction.
It is based on a conglomeration of real events but is not about YOU ;)

Recently I attended a wedding.
Recently my husband attended a wedding.

The wedding I attended had lovely flower arrangements on the tables, accented by candles and various tchotchkes. The chairs had fancy white chair covers with bows on them and we had heavy linen napkins. The music was far too loud. The dancing went on far too long. The food was passable. We had plain twist rolls for washing. I was seated with several good friends.

The wedding Avram attended had no flower arrangements or tchotchkes on the table. The chairs had no covers and he had simple polyester napkins. The music was far too loud. The dancing went on far too long. The food was pretty good with huge pull apart rolls for washing. Avram was seated with men he had little to do with but whose wives were good friends of mine.

Guess what?
We were at the SAME WEDDING.

It might interest folks to know that:
Some men DO APPRECIATE flowers and nice appointments.
Some women DO APPRECIATE yummy pull apart challah rolls.
The music is ALWAYS far too loud.
The dancing ALWAYS goes on too long.
It's not always a good idea when doing seating to put husbands and wives at mirror image tables. They often have different social circles and if you are already making them sit apart from the one person that they probably (hopefully) want to sit with the most, at least put them with people whose company they enjoy.

Thanks for listening and Mazel Tov to all!


BLD said...

Bring a sefer next time.

Stuart said...

That's why the mechitza is there -- so you can't see that the food is better on the other side. Around here, the men get chulent and kugel at a kiddush. Women get salads and good cakes. Its Unfair!

Frayda said...

My husband refuses to go to weddings with seperate seating if he is not going to know people on the men's side.

Yehudah said...


I hope you're joking. Bringing a book -- any kind of book -- to a wedding is one of the most rude things you can do. If you actually imbibed the message of sefarim's content, you would know that.

anonymous separate seating hater said...

I don't know a whole lot of men who care about the centerpieces. However, I agree that they do care with whom they are seated.
BLD, I can think of nothing ruder than bringing a sefer. yuck.

WAdsworth3 said...

Another anecdote for why many of us prefer mixed seating.

Random German Words said...

First off, men generally don't appreciate centerpieces unless you can fiddle with them or they're like Lazy Susans and make food access better. Secondly, is it really rude to bring a small sefer to a chasunah for some of those interminable break periods? I feel like as long as you put it away when "stuff's happening" it's okay. I could be wrong. Thirdly, it's hard to do seating at a wedding. For most guests being specific and not "mirror-image" is difficult and time-consuming. Lastly, do women really want fancy large pull apart Challah and the like just so that they can talk about how they "really shouldn't" be doing this and how the food will just have to be a "wedding exception?" :)
Just kidding. Sort of.

Yekke Wannabe said...


Do you want to be my Chavrusa?

Anonymous said...

I don't understand what's so terrible about bringing a sefer. Do you know how much you can learn during the gap between badeken and chuppah or during the dancing if you're not interested in participating? I'm no fanatic, but some of us feel that sitting and staring for 30 minutes or small talk with strangers is really a waste of time and we would rather spend that time with a sefer. Of course, one shouldn't learn during the "ceremony" and other inappropriate times and I think it is rude to carry a large sefer. I stick to pocket-sized volumes.

FBB said...

I'm curious if all those who think bringing a sefer is rude- do not check their blackberries, write emails,text or make/take phone calls while sitting at the table or waiting for the chupa or at the chupa.

I'm not saying it's not rude, but let's just make sure those screaming RUDE! are always careful of personal distractions during social situations, and not just a knee jerk reaction to...gasp...a sefer!

Yehudah said...

Manners, social grace... ah, the things of a lost world.