Friday, June 11, 2010

Food Photo Friday - The "Girl Kiddush"

The phenomenon of the "Girl Kiddush", in celebration of a new baby of the female persuasion, has been around for quite some time, but the contention that a girl will not find a shidduch if she hasn't had one held in her honor, is a more recent development. In fact, if anybody can cite me the source for this position, I'd love to hear it.

In any event, since nowadays we appear to be concerned about the shidduch prospects of children from conception, a kiddush seems de rigueur.

Last Shabbos, we had the zechus to attend a kiddush in gratitude to Hakodosh Boruch Hu for the birth of our newest granddaughter, Tzipora Chaya. I prepared, among other things, rainbow cookies, "pink & whites" and the lovely chocolate truffles you see above.

I'm contemplating compiling a list of segulas here ("Segula Sundays"?)with sources so that we can all begin to separate the wheat from the chaff together. (Did I ever tell you about the pushy, strange lady who, while in labor, approached me on the postpartum ward at the hospital after I had just given birth to my baby? And how upon grilling me discovering that I had a 2 hour labor insisted on davening certain tefillos while all the while placing her hands firmly on my (postpartum) belly??!?!! And how she "shush shushed" MY DOCTOR away when he had the "audacity" to interrupt her in order to examine me - his patient?!? No? Well, remind me some other time...)


efrex said...

Mazal Tov! Wow, do those look delicious!

I certainly hope that segulot aren't crucial: the only thing I remember saying at my sons' births was singing "Welcome to the World" from John & Jen to them... somehow, I don't think that's on anybody's list...

The only "sourced segulah" that I can think of is shiluach haken* being a "segulah" for having children (fr'instance, see Sefer Hachinuch 545). Even there, it's not explained as a "magic wand," but as a way to raise one's spiritual awareness so that one deserves Divine blessing.

As for shidduchim, the only segulot that I know of that have been effective are:

* Be honest about yourself, both to yourself and others
* Keep an open mind and a positive attitude
* Get out there and meet people


* or hakan, depending on what decade you were in yeshiva and on which coast

Shosh said...

haha! thats hysterical! in a very disturbing sort of way....

WAdsworth3 said...

There is wheat among the chaff of segulahs?

ProfK said...

There was an old country belief that if your hand or palm was itchy that was a segula that money would soon be coming your way. Jumping from that we could institute a new segula related to shidduchim. What part of the body would relate to shidduchim? Perhaps the heart would be best. So if you get heartburn regularly that is a segula that you're going to get married soon. So regular heartburn as part of shidduchim (and more truth in that relationship then just being a segulah.)

G6 said...

923 ;) -
While some segulas have their roots in shtuss, I imagine that there must be some segulahs that have a "source".....

Staying Afloat said...

Actually asked this question at the Shabbos table this week, after reading this post.

I was told that there's a story told about Rav Yisrael Salanter, zatzal (not sure when it got popular) that someone came to him about an older girl who wasn't getting married.

Rav Salanter found that she never had a baby kiddush and siad that was a problem. Why? Because at such a kiddush the baby gets mant brachos from the attendees of "She should grow up l'chupah, etc.". And it's the brachos that this girl was missing.

So it's apparently about collecting brachos from the masses, the power of which we definitely have a source for.

efrex said...


I don't mean to be obnoxious, but I'm extremely skeptical about both parts of your post.

There are very very few reliable R' Yisrael Salanter stories, and the one you mention doesn't even fit the modus operandi of the "legends." I know you're quoting a second or third-hand source, but I'd be very curious to see if anyone could find any published version of that particular story.

As for the idea that "collecting brachos from the masses" definitely has power, please tell me where that comes from. The idea of saying brachot, either for Hashem or for other people, is a well-sourced one, but I do not know of any tanach or halacha source that indicates that there's inherent power in the act itself. Indeed, as I understand R' Hirsch, he sees it almost in reverse: saying a bracha is meant to have a meantally focusing effect on the one saying it, not the recipient. In tanach, meaningful brachot are recited by worthy individuals or the cohanim; I am not aware of any situation where "the masses" are told to give a bracha to other individuals.

(Incidentally, it's extremely fascinating to contrast R' Hirsch's view of brachot (see the "Avodah" section of Chorev with R' Soloveitchik's view in his 1956 yahrzeit shiur... both use some of the same source material, yet derive fascinatingly different philosophical ideas)

FBB said...

As the mother of bunches of girls, not all of whom had a "real" kiddush (hubby always brought cake and drinks to shul on the morning he named them, if it wasn't shabbos), I asked this question to a Rav (yekkish, even!!). I was told the same thing as SA, however NOT in anyone's name, just :"if there is anything to it, that's what it would be."

Now, if this is the a recent mother of a boy, I can tell you I understand why there are more single girls than boys ( no data, just the "lore"). Almost every mazal tov I received for the little guy came with he should be zoche...chupa"

Anonymous said...

Brerachos hedyot- the beracha of just plain people- should not be dismissed.
Saying a person's name and their mother's name touches their neshama and brings down berachos to the recipient.

As girls get older, they gather plenty of berachos from friends,family and aquantances at every wedding they go to even if they did not have a kiddish.
In my book, putting out food on the day of naming the baby girl is as good as a kiddish. It shows hakoras hatov to HKB"H.

Yehudah said...


Almost every minhag is reputed to have a source. The question is a) what is the source (which halacha, kabbalah, community etc.) and b) did the "source" come before or after the custom started.