Exploding Chocolate

Seriously, who thinks this stuff up??!?

I didn't pay much mind to the towering heap of calorie laden junk food  goodies that has been occupying a large portion of the kitchen table since Purim.  I just left it all out there in the hopes that it would magically disappear with the aide of hungry midnight snackers.

Until this gem surfaced from deep within the mound today.  It's a chocolate bar embedded with POP ROCKS.  Ummmm..... why exactly?

I must admit though, it's an intriguing experience.

Did anybody else receive anything odd and/or interesting?

Purim is Over - You Are NOW Allowed to Mention the "P" Word

With Purim but a fond memory (excluding the one inadvertently overlooked mask still dangling from a picture in the dining room), we are now officially permitted in my home to mention the next "P" word.

PESACH (breath in... breath out....)

I should warn you that I'm a firm believer that in order to arrive at the seder table feeling like "bnei chorim", we should apply a sane and reasonable approach to our pesach cleaning tactics (in case you were unsure, inspecting your chandelier for chometz then wrapping it in plastic until yom tov is definitely NOT sane).

Which is why Mom In Israel's post and commentary about a recent pesach cleaning article in Mishpacha Magazine, that in my opinion is so ludicrous that it should be printed in their "humor" section (do they even have a humor section in Mishpacha Magazine?), is worthy of Honorable Mention here.  I couldn't have responded to the utter insanity of this absurd "helpful" pesach cleaning schedule better myself.

Joey's Grammen 2009

The icing on the cake for a Purim Seudah which includes family, "like family", friends - both old and new is a grammen in which each and every person present occupies a verse.

Due to the fact that many of us have been lobbying Joey to "be nice" this year, he started his grammen with a poem entitled, "How the Grinch Stole Purim".  The grammen follows. 

As I noted previously, in order to protect one or two "family secrets", I needed to cut out small sections (including 2 punchlines) from the videos.  You are missing a sum total of less than 10 seconds.  Please don't ask me what was said... if I could have told you I would have!

First, a short clip of Avram introducing Joey.  He managed without the new (hipper?) pair of reading glasses which he had donned for earlier stanzas of his poem, after Michael thought they were part of a Purim costume.....

The rest of it pretty much speaks for itself....  pretty impressive considering that Joey had not previously met two of our guests.

As a post script, I must add that Jonas, our new friend from Berlin gave us the biggest compliment possible last night.  On his way out the door he said that he is tempted to return to the United States at this time next year just so that he can join us once again for Purim Seudah! He will be most welcome.  

Private P.S. I think that if you realize that somebody has ideological and/or political differences with you (and you occasionally butt heads about things) but you also realize that nothing is meant personally and you show this by dropping off unexpected Shalach Monos - it's a very CLASSY thing to do...

Purim Wrapup - The Early Edition

Another marker of my getting older is that I don't bounce back from all these festivities as quickly as I used to.

There is so muchI want to post and write about, but I'm not yet up to full speed.

So in the interim, as per reader request, I am posting two short clips of KAJ's choir.

I apologize for the quality of the first few moments on the first clip (it quickly improves, though).  I was going to post only the second clip which is steady throughout, but I was voted down...

Regarding our personal purim.... it was FABULOUS.  Avram went a wee bit overboard on the decorations - - - it looked like Mardi Gras threw up all over our dining room. Everybody really got into the spirit of things.  There was the perfect balance of Torah, Purim Torah, and of course GRAMMEN.

Now on that front, Joey warned me that in an effort to foil my attempts to post his grammen on my blog, he was going to weave in lines that HE KNEW were unpostable.  I said there was no such thing..... Well, for once, Joey was right.  I can't believe he found anything that I would NOT be willing to post, but he did!  So today's agenda involves learning the rudiments of windows movie maker as fast as possible so that I can upload and share albeit edited clips of his work.

Our Big News Post Has Been Updated...

See Below

Wishing everyone a Freilichen Purim!

BIG NEWS!!

Many of you read the writeup about Avram in the Jewish Press and the HaModia last week.

Apparently, it was good for business and some feelers we've been putting out in other areas of the country have taken an interest.

Shortly after Pesach we will be packing up and heading down South!!!

Miami here we come!!

Things here in our little corner of the world have changed so radically that we felt it was time to move on... as unbelievable and as sad as that sounds.  But this is a wonderful opportunity.

Joey will be hanging around until he graduates in January and then we hope he'll be looking at law schools nearby (he's been pushing for a warmer climate ever since Yeshiva and he's right... the people we've met from there {you know who you are at Young Israel of North Miami Beach!}, along with the weather know a thing or two about warmth ;) )

I'll keep on blogging and our new home will continue to be a haven for "starving dorm boys"!

More updates to follow... I'll attach them to the bottom of this post as they come in!

UPDATE BELOW.........

The Anatomy of a Rumor:

1. Find an outlandish story with just enough "plausibility".
2. Add in just the right amount of detail.
3. Post on your blog.

10 minutes later the Purim fun begins:

1. Unnamed family member: "umm.... it's a joke, right?"
2. Friends on AIM and Gchat:  "You're MOVING?!?!?"
3. Flurry of phone calls to various children of mine to "verify" the story.
4. Comments begin posting on the blog - some sure, some unsure.
5. More frantic phone calls... 

To all our dear friends, we ask mechila if you were at all upset by this post....

To all those happy to see us go... we will continue to be a thorn in your side in the near future :)

A FREILICHEN PURIM TO ALL!!!!

The Decorations Start Going Up... The Excitement Builds...

All month long the Purim cucumber has adorned our front door. The presence of these green harbingers of the festival is so ubiquitous that I'm beginning to think they are mandatory - like blood on the doorpost on Pesach...  Tonight the Haman men are getting "hung" as well. Granted, it's a day early... but hey, it's Sunday :)

Decorative masks have been hung from the corners of many of the dining room frames.

We even got some Purim gel clings!

I'm such a sucker for this kind of stuff.

The digital frame is programmed to display only Purim pics from years gone by and randomly rotate through ten Purim songs as well...

Joey's been muttering to himself about the grammen... everybody at the seudah traditionally gets a verse - a daunting task for him this year to be sure, considering that he's NEVER MET some of the people coming (and he's really getting annoyed at my repeated warnings to 'be nice')!

¡¡¡¡sǝıʇıʌıʇsǝɟ ǝɥʇ ɹoɟ ʎpɐǝɹ ʇǝƃ

Take THAT Con Edison!!!

Last month we bought what seemed like a whole truckload of the energy saving flourescent light bulbs.  Before you start cringing, let me tell you that they've come a long way since they first came out.

They are not that harsh white light anymore.  They come in a softer incandescent look too.

They don't only come in that unsightly 'coil' anymore.  You can get them in normal lightbulb shapes, as well as globes. (The only thing I couldn't find were 150 watt equivalent globes and small chandelier flames)

We replaced most of the lightbulbs that we could find suitalbe replacements for.

The result?

Our electric bill was more than $50 cheaper this month!!!

(Full Disclosure Time:  I found that the globes do take about 10-20 seconds to warm up before they are giving their full light.  If you're running to the bathroom for a "quick trip", it might be a bit dim until you are already washing your hands.... ;) )

We Must've Done Something Right.....

Nothing gives a parent more nachas than watching their children grow into the kinds of "menschen" we hoped they would become.

I know I've said this before, but Joey is a pretty terrific guy.

I've thought back and forth whether or not to post this, and I've decided that if even one person is inspired by his actions (I know I am), it is a worthwhile endeavor. 

As I mentioned earlier, Joey was laid over in San Diego during the snowstorm (this is not the part that makes him terrific).  He arrived home quite punchy, not having slept in over 27 hours (As a nice post script to my Alps post, he did tell me that it was quite awesome to watch the sun set over the Pacific Ocean, hop on a plane and arrive home in time to view it rise over the Atlantic).

He lay down for a couple of hours but by dinnertime he was itching to go to sleep again.  And THEN the phone rang.  A male member of the community is in the hospital and the family didn't want him to be alone at night.  So for the past two nights, on barely any sleep, Joey has been dozing (and I use that term loosely, especially considering a 2 a.m. room change) on a chair next to a patient in the local hospital.  Oh, and did I mention he gave blood (again) today as well?  He tried to go on President's Day but they wouldn't take his blood - apparently his iron levels were too low.... that won't stop Joey.... he'll just try again....

I'm glad that all that Torah that he has learned has found a practical application in his life. I'm glad to see that it has made him a better Jew.  

The Dreaded "Kiddie Table".....

This post is a public service announcement. As my children have grown, it doesn't apply to us this year but let it be a warning to you......

I've been informed by my children, that one of the terrors of childhood is the dreaded "Kiddie Table" at family simchas, parties and get-togethers.  Apparently only my overabundance of love and affection at other times in their lives has negated the need for countless hours of therapy to overcome this trauma.

So what's a hostess to do?  If my table only fits fourteen (according to Joey sixteen) and if people don't R.S.V.P. in a timely fashion, I might end out with more guests than we can comfortably seat (no Simcha, you are NOT sitting on the couch). Such is the problem when one exercises the "always room for one more" principle. (Well actually, there is one condition to be a guest at our purim seudah {tied in to the post below} - - - you must be sober enough at the end of the meal to be able to say birkas hamozon.  I do not take kindly to my son needing to either clean up your vomit or half carry you home, undress you and put you to bed (yes, he HAS done all those things....).

So to recap - UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to have kiddie tables for the overflow.... you might end up with severely depressed, axe-murderer progeny.....

Pre-Purim Points to Ponder

As we are approaching Purim, I'm going to take a bit of a break from some of my lighter posts and give you some food for thought:

• In these somber financial times, we might do well to question whether or not any "elaborate" shalach monos packaging is going to have an effect on the amount of matonos l'evyonim that we are able to give. 
• Drinking in excess is stupid and unnecessary. PERIOD.
• Giving drinks to minors is ILLEGAL. PERIOD!!!!  (yes, even one little drink... because all the houses before you had the same thought and these boys can get seriously poisoned)
• NOWHERE is smoking even remotely related to Purim!
• Parents who throw up their hands and say, "what can I do?" or "boys will be boys" are showing a SUPREME lack of responsibility.  If your child has a propensity for this behavior (did he act out and/or vomit in a public place last year?) it is incumbent upon you to keep him at your side all day long.... even if it cramps your style.  Do not make the community responsible for your child.

Wishing you and your family a SAFE and joyous Purim ☺

Snow Day!

Somebody is going to be cold.....

This picture I that I took this morning on my way to work (so much for my "snow day".... sigh....) actually reminds me of the year Michael was in Yeshiva in South Bend, Indiana. True to its midwest locale (Why is it called the midwest anyway? It's neither in the middle of the country, nor in the west.... but that's a whole other post....) it is known for its fierce, blustery winters.

One morning, as Michael was dashing across the lawn from the dorms to the beis medrash in the driving snow, he lost his scarf (probably the only piece of outerwear he had on at the time).  When he turned around to look for it, the falling snow had already buried it.  It didn't turn up until the snow melted..... in the SPRING.

JPix is Up

This month's edition of JPix, the photo carnival of the Jewish blogging world is up at Leora's.  She was kind enough to include my hamantaschen picture but truthfully, my favorite this month is Jacob's "Tending to da lilies".  I've photographed that exact same spot myself and was not able to catch such an amazing photo.

Check it out and I hope you have time to peruse a few other of Leora's posts.  Her blog is creative and interesting.

Stay warm, dry and slush free today :)

To Be Filed In The "Some People Have All The Luck" Category...

I cannot imagine who would rely on my blog as their official news source, but in case you have been so busy cleaning for Pesach that you haven't heard, and true to the adage that March goes "in like a lion and out like a lamb", please be advised that New York City is expecting the biggest snowstorm of the season tonight and into tomorrow morning.  Snow accumulations could reach up to 12 inches.

Now we all know that I'm over the hill and I left my joie de vivre back in yonder valley, but I would hasten to say that most people who live in the city,  10 year olds with upcoming math tests excluded, do NOT appreciate this lovely gift from mother nature which quickly turns into graying slush puddles and yellow drifts (if you get my drift....).  {Yes, yes... I know I just posted about the Alps and all but that was on vacation and did you see even one yellow patch??!?!  I rest my case.}

Snow in the city tends to be nothing more than an unsightly inconvenience and makes people rather grumbly.  I plan on taking my camera outside tomorrow morning and trying to capture at least a tiny bit of beauty before the huddled masses spew forth and trample upon it.

Now back to the title of this post.... where is my Joey might you ask? Well he was slated to fly into New York tomorrow morning, but the poor fellow's flight has already been cancelled and he's being held over for a full 24 hours. Where, might you ask? SAN DIEGO.... home of sunshine, beaches and 85 degree weather. Grumble, grumble, grumble....some people have all the luck.....

{Calgon... take me away.......}

A Gift for the Guf and a Gift for the Neshama

Louisa came by on Friday bearing unexpected gifts.

One for my 'guf' and one for my 'neshama'.

We learn hilchos Shabbos together and the gift for the neshama was something to help me better adhere to the mitzvos involved in Shmiras Shabbos.

The gift for the guf was my favorite fruit of all time and I haven't had them in so long that they are a "Shehecheyanu" for me at the same time.

I hugged her when I saw the fruit. I should have hugged her more for the gift for my neshama.  This disturbed me later.  I guess as my guf was hugging her for the gift it was about to enjoy, my neshama was simultaneously hugging her for its gift.......