The Dreaded "Kiddie Table".....

This post is a public service announcement. As my children have grown, it doesn't apply to us this year but let it be a warning to you......

I've been informed by my children, that one of the terrors of childhood is the dreaded "Kiddie Table" at family simchas, parties and get-togethers.  Apparently only my overabundance of love and affection at other times in their lives has negated the need for countless hours of therapy to overcome this trauma.

So what's a hostess to do?  If my table only fits fourteen (according to Joey sixteen) and if people don't R.S.V.P. in a timely fashion, I might end out with more guests than we can comfortably seat (no Simcha, you are NOT sitting on the couch). Such is the problem when one exercises the "always room for one more" principle. (Well actually, there is one condition to be a guest at our purim seudah {tied in to the post below} - - - you must be sober enough at the end of the meal to be able to say birkas hamozon.  I do not take kindly to my son needing to either clean up your vomit or half carry you home, undress you and put you to bed (yes, he HAS done all those things....).

So to recap - UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES are you to have kiddie tables for the overflow.... you might end up with severely depressed, axe-murderer progeny.....